tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post9086061840145292327..comments2024-03-15T18:27:32.697-07:00Comments on 86,400 Seconds: Monday MusingsTarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-43308309983590206462016-08-24T10:38:58.892-07:002016-08-24T10:38:58.892-07:00what if they expire before you do? A back up plan...what if they expire before you do? A back up plan??!? Though morbid, we've got to think of these things.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-72091309569512827742016-08-24T10:38:20.841-07:002016-08-24T10:38:20.841-07:00yes, I now understand that a quick death, though s...yes, I now understand that a quick death, though shocking, is the best way to go. It's over and done with. None of the years long anguish that can destroy families.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-68061391705166908722016-08-24T10:37:05.419-07:002016-08-24T10:37:05.419-07:00what a great solution! Sometimes a little tricker...what a great solution! Sometimes a little trickery goes a long way. I hope that I am not stubborn this way when I am very old. I hope I can follow my daughter's advice, happily, and know that we are all doing the best we can.<br />Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-70943184798956177012016-08-24T10:35:55.333-07:002016-08-24T10:35:55.333-07:00when are you bringing in a care giver? it may tak...when are you bringing in a care giver? it may take a few different folks before you find the right one, but you will.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-72349634678996498182016-08-24T10:35:11.806-07:002016-08-24T10:35:11.806-07:00xoxoxoxxoxoxoxTarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-53286297719987382542016-08-24T10:34:59.196-07:002016-08-24T10:34:59.196-07:00thank you, Elizabeth. We all have our crosses to ...thank you, Elizabeth. We all have our crosses to bear, and they are not always so heavy. Your navigation of life's ups and downs are a real touch stone for me, so thank you for that.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-32604717029877369932016-08-24T10:33:56.108-07:002016-08-24T10:33:56.108-07:00the trick is moving into these communities before ...the trick is moving into these communities before your health declines. If they deem you medically unsound, even after you've put your payment down, you're out of luck. Yes, I'm beginning to think I need to seriously ensure that I am taken care of in my dotage, especially as my husband is 15 older than I am. Don't want to do this to my daughter, who is an only child.Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03052375488090209961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-10575049591116801362016-08-23T23:48:08.716-07:002016-08-23T23:48:08.716-07:00I don't think there's any shortcuts to get...I don't think there's any shortcuts to getting through this kind of life experience. I will just wish you continued strength and courage as you navigate. Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03313726816776097840noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-61077355943551550612016-08-23T09:30:01.967-07:002016-08-23T09:30:01.967-07:00There is a short space between helping and enablin...There is a short space between helping and enabling. Glad you seem to have found that space.<br /><br />The story you relate is so common and the very reason we already have a down payment and are approved for a full-service retirement community. We'll hopefully begin living there in about 5 years in a three-bedroom home with yard and privacy. Then we can progress to the various levels of care as our health dictates. It's not fair for the care of elderly parents to be on the shoulders of their children. That's why we have made plans to ensure that we make the decisions. That and the fact that we spent five years tending to the needs of my M-I-L.<br /><br />Unlike you, the last thing I want to hear when I'm in a funk is happy music or a pep talk. At least not until I have gotten the bad vibes out of my system on my own. Usually a long walk or trip to the lake will do that.NCmountainwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00615765649828716560noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-37159408736835137662016-08-23T07:30:43.670-07:002016-08-23T07:30:43.670-07:00you are welcome babe, it will be ok.
you are welcome babe, it will be ok.<br />Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14980932795965201782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-28427369695268835072016-08-22T15:18:22.042-07:002016-08-22T15:18:22.042-07:00Well, you know the route we're taking at this ...Well, you know the route we're taking at this point. My mom is in pretty good health so we're hopeful that things will unfold smoothly. I am so sorry that your mom and dad were turned down by the retirement place. We humans have really made a mess of how to healthfully and happily care for our elderly loved ones. I wish things were easier. The truth about living in larger communities, the way our ancestors did for THOUSANDS of years is that the elderly had a whole village to look out for them. What we've done with the progress of "civilization" is lose the very context of our human-ness. It is extremely hard to paste it back together. And now each and every family has to figure out how to do it on their own. Good luck and I hope your parents find a wonderful, comfortable place. Glad you have chill pills to take.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-39442915276938823092016-08-22T14:05:27.371-07:002016-08-22T14:05:27.371-07:00We've been through this a couple of times, so ...We've been through this a couple of times, so I know what you're going through. With my mother-in-law, she refused to have anyone help in the house. Finally, we found a young woman, very distantly related to her daughter-in-law, and told her the young woman really needed a place to stay during the week while she worked part time. We sold her on having someone in her house this way--she thought she was doing this interesting young woman, a "member of the family", a favor, when it was the other way around. As for how we got her to stop driving...long story there, but let's just say that car of hers mysteriously developed mechanical difficulties that were impossible to fix! I hope you find a solution, by hook or by crook, and that you find them soon. Peace to you--and Xanax!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-22395725714304052232016-08-22T13:46:19.064-07:002016-08-22T13:46:19.064-07:00This is a very tough part of life. We are not all ...This is a very tough part of life. We are not all fortunate enough to die before we need that level of care. Assisted living places can be nice, like studio apartments, but nursing homes not so much. I hope you can find a facility that will give her the care she needs. It's very tough when the offspring needs to become the parent. My husband and I were lucky in that my parents died before it became an issue for either one. His parents made the choice to move to such a facility on their own. I have friends though that it fit what you are describing for the parent resented them for where they were having to live. Caregivers usually die before the sick one. It's just how it happens all too often. It sounds really wrong for the facility to wait until the last to tell you what they did. :( Good luck with finding the right place. You might talk to those in that region who have had to go through this to see if they have recommendations. I wonder if there are groups out there.Rain Trueaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07994628226501093880noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2963973022593930704.post-88050523245012259352016-08-22T13:27:44.334-07:002016-08-22T13:27:44.334-07:00Oh my Gawd....I so relate.............got my peace...Oh my Gawd....I so relate.............got my peace pills at the ready if necessary. xxxooo :-)MandThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14561334713342973568noreply@blogger.com