Monday, November 11, 2013

To Thine Own Self Be True

For the last year I have been doing a great deal of work to dig deep and wrestle with the codependent aspects of myself.  Codependency will always lead you down the wrong path, and what's even worse is that you take others with you.  I'm working on being in harmony with my inner voice, because she usually speaks the truth.  I need to listen to her, I mean me.  This, from an article in Psychology Today:

"Not surprisingly, surveys show that, on average, people who scored higher on tests for authenticity are more satisfied with life, have higher self-esteem and are generally happier. As Mohandas Gandhi put it so well, ‘happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony’."

I am usually confused when it comes to knowing what is compassion and empathy, and what is codependency, because I'm seriously codependent.  (If you're codependent and you know it, clap your hands!)

Polonius had it right, that when one is true to themselves they seek to be true with everyone else.
"And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man."
Without self-awareness, one keeps repeating patterns that ill serve them.  
This, of course, all revolves around dating and contemplation of a long-term relationship.  Here's an interesting article on the role of dating.  We all (or most of us) seek love, and it is a rare and often tricky thing to get to know someone.  We all come with our baggage, we all come with our hopes and dreams.  The important thing is to be self-aware and self-loving so that you can hear and trust that inner voice that tells you if something or someone is a healthy choice for you, or not.  The voice often does not make sense at first's called denial.  But I am discovering that that voice is the only sane thing I've got, and I'd better listen up.  I've been involved, too many times, with people who were good souls and essentially decent, but were not right for me.  Often, the 'not right' things were so opaque that I ignored them.  But they mattered, and my ignoring them did not make them matter less.
I now know that I don't have to justify and ruminate on the 'not right things.'  I just have to acknowledge that they are there and they are telling me not to move forward.  I don't get involved with bad people; I get involved with good people who are not right, for whatever reason, for me.  

So, here's a shout out to the power of the inner voice.  I'm letting it guide me in the right direction this time.  

How are you at listening to your inner voice?  Has it served you well?  I'd love to know.



  1. Ironic that I was having a very deep conversation yesterday on nearly the same subject. My issue was always discerning if that 'inner voice' was the Source or my Ego. These days Ego rarely shows up. I have very few days of truly feeling as though I'm missing something, and I'm working hard on becoming the kind of person I want to attract. The "Me" work will take a while longer, and it's okay if I never find my perfect companion. I LOVE that you are doing your "Me" work as well! I have a whole other opinion about Co-Dependency, but I'll save that for another time.

    I've been meaning to give you a homework assignment; ya know all that yummy food you're constantly posting photos of? You need to come up with a way of dehydrating all that so we can take it on the road with us!!!!

    Yay, T., and I enjoyed this post tremendouslyI

  2. Synchronicity, baby. I'd love your thoughts on codependency -- I poo-pooed it for years until I really read Beattie's books which helped me to understand it. We are all, to some degree, co-dependent. Especially those of us who are empathetic and believe in forgiving our fellow kind.

    Oh? And that homework assignment? Hey, how about those sealed air-tight packs? Wonder if that would work....

  3. Your inner voice is a wonderful friend, however finding our true inner voice takes some work. We are usually filled with a few voices. The parental voice of our childhood. The reaction to that voice, and our true voice. Separate those and you will have clarity.