Saturday, January 23, 2016

Perplexing Life

I am of the age where I am sandwiched between an adult child with health issues, and an ailing 80 yo mom who is declining rather rapidly after 15 ears with Parkinson's (PD).  I'm essentially helpless (aren't we all?) to fix their problems, and I know it.  But, dammit, I want to.  It's terribly frustrating.  And then there are my own health issues which become aggravated by stress.  How convenient.

I just finished reading Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck. A hilarious read, more so because she speaks the truth of the shock and awe of aging.

At 58, I consider myself a young elderly person. If the fates allow, I may have another 20 or 25 years of reasonably good living ahead of me.  Do you do these kinds of calculations? Gawd I hope I'm not the only one.  I think, often, of doing exercise to help me stay strong. Do I do it? Nope. What kind of nonsense is this?! It is utter nonsense, that's what it is.  Is this denial or run of the mill sloth? Does it matter?

I do keep to a healthy diet for the most part. My guts are changing, and it's difficult to know if it is diabetic in nature or normal aging. When I do a little research I see that my symptoms are very mild and intermittent for a diabetic cause. So maybe this run of the mill indigestion and irregularity.  Maybe it's the early stages of neuropathy of the nerves that control digestion.  Isn't that a lovely thought?  I'm waiting anxiously for some advancement in stem cell research which will allow my pancreas to function normally again.  Which is one reason I want to stay healthy.

You know, there may be nothing so boring as listening to someone rag on about their health issues.  My deepest apologies, dear reader.  To end on an upbeat note, a friend sent information on Eva Saulitis, an Alaskan writer, who died recently of cancer.  Eva's out loud and honest account of her last weeks and days are an inspiration.  How to live fully while dying.  And isn't that what it's all about?  It could be said that we are all dying.  At the very least it can be said that we all will die.

It could be said that people in Washington, D.C. are hating 24 inches of snow right now.  And they probably are.  But cheer up, good people of the District, you still have electrical power.  For now.

3 comments:

  1. I think your thoughts are typical. Just not all are willing to explore them

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  2. what Rain said! You are special. I will do what I can.

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  3. I am so sorry to read about your health issues and the issues that your daughter and mom are dealing with. We are of an age where we are sandwiched between the ups and downs of our elders and our children. Many stressors there, including and contributing to own body distresses. Eva Saulitis is a wonderful writer, and I seem to have moved into a phase of reading about conscious living and conscious dying. It's remarkably calming to aspire to both. Hope your gut issues resolve and you have the inner and outer strength for whatever comes next. Take care there.

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