Monday, February 27, 2017
Dylan Eleanor Ann was born on Saturday, February 25 at 5:16 a.m. I was overjoyed to be there and watch this miraculous very day occurrence. A brief respite in my cold gave me a small window of opportunity. Now I'm back into bone rattling coughing fits and utter exhaustion. I haven't been able to hold little Ellie, or to take care of her brother, which is what I signed up for, and why we came to stay for three weeks. Luckily, there are others who have stepped in, but I could just wail about this terrible luck. I have wailed plenty, in my mind.
I haven't had a cold in three years. Christ on a bike. I do remind myself I have plenty of time to be with her -- just not now. The urge ro return home is strong, but we've rented this place for awhile, and there is no provision for a refund. Maybe I'll recover in time to visit in a few days. Meanwhile, my poor husband gets a sick and cranky companion. Oh joy. No fun for anyone.
NyQuil dreams are vivid and provocative. I wake up in a sweaty haze, trying to understand just what realm I am in. Am I still crawling through an underground tunnel the circumference of a sewer pipe, choked with roots, or have I landed back into my sick bed? We're those tunnels representative of my sinuses? How is it possible to produce this much snot? For days and days and days? I
Still and all, this small apartment is cozy and inviting. There is an excellent selection of books, and a working t.v. with HBO. Wifi, and clothes washer and dryer and a perfectly serviceable kitchen. It is also quiet. I've been watching the blue sky and sunshine out the bedroom sliding doors that open onto a little patio. A statue of Buddha greets me there, reminding me that this, too, shall pass.
Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you want it to. Fiddle dee dee. I don't lose sight of the fact I got to be there when my grand daughter slipped into this world and into her father's waiting hands. That I witnessed her first weak cry and watched as her tiny eyes scanned space to figure out just what realm she was in.
Ellie, dearest, you are not in Kansas anymore.
I'll see you in my dreams.