It brings back to me the grief I experienced at the loss of my husband, Steve, almost five years ago now. We were together a short amount of time but we packed a lot of living into those six years. We didn't know our time would be so short but we had a real 'carpe diem' attitude about our meeting, falling in love, and marrying.
The ending was complicated by the dementia that took over his brain. So much bitterness, anger and confusion. Truly harrowing. Only healed in the last week of his life in the nursing care wing of our retirement community. He had moments of clarity where deep connection was allowed between us. His daughter said he was calm when I was around.
My friend is writing about her amazing travels with her partner, and that brings up very fond memories I have of my travels with Steve. This photo was taken in Paris, with two friends of ours who happened to be in Paris at the same time! What a nice surprise.
Our travels were always an adventure. I had never been to Europe, nor Cuba, and we went several times over the years. Steve was fluent in French, and my Spanish was passable, so together we worked it out. I will be forever grateful for his enthusiasm and willingness to share an adventure with me.
What I've discovered, anew, about grief is that the sting of loss never goes away. Not a day goes by where I do not think of Steve. The good and the bad. As time moves on, however, I find most of my memories are good ones and my gratitude around finding him continues. An accomplished man, intelligent and creative. He adored me and I felt that. The sharp pain of loss softens while the sweet memories bloom easily. For that, I can be entirely at peace.
