Monday, February 27, 2017

Monday Musings

Dylan Eleanor Ann was born on Saturday, February 25 at 5:16 a.m.  I was overjoyed to be there and watch this miraculous very day occurrence. A brief respite in my cold gave me a small window of opportunity. Now I'm back into bone rattling coughing fits and utter exhaustion. I haven't been able to hold little Ellie, or to take care of her brother, which is what I signed up for, and why we came to stay for three weeks. Luckily, there are others who have stepped in, but I could just wail about this terrible luck.  I have wailed plenty, in my mind.

I haven't had a cold in three years.  Christ on a bike.  I do remind myself I have plenty of time to be with her -- just not now.  The urge ro return home is strong, but we've rented this place for awhile, and there is no provision for a refund. Maybe I'll recover in time to visit in a few days.  Meanwhile, my poor husband gets a sick and cranky companion. Oh joy.  No fun for anyone.

NyQuil dreams are vivid and provocative. I wake up in a sweaty haze, trying to understand just what realm I am in. Am I still crawling through an underground tunnel the circumference of a sewer pipe, choked with roots, or have I landed back into my sick bed? We're those tunnels representative of my sinuses? How is it possible to produce this much snot? For days and days and days? I

Still and all, this small apartment is cozy and inviting. There is an excellent selection of books, and a working t.v. with HBO. Wifi, and clothes washer and dryer and a perfectly serviceable kitchen.  It is also quiet. I've been watching the blue sky and sunshine out the bedroom sliding doors that open onto a little patio. A statue of Buddha greets me there, reminding me that this, too, shall pass.

Sometimes life just doesn't work out the way you want it to. Fiddle dee dee.  I don't lose sight of the fact I got to be there when my grand daughter slipped into this world and into her father's waiting hands.  That I witnessed her first weak cry and watched as her tiny eyes scanned space to figure out just what realm she was in.

Ellie, dearest, you are not in Kansas anymore.

I'll see you in my dreams.

Friday, February 17, 2017


Some five years ago we welcomed this lil fella into the world.  Now we are awaiting his sister, and I'm spending time with my daughter to keep her occupied in her last days of pregnancy.  I was present at my grandson's birth and I'll be here for her birth as well.

We found a lovely garden apartment to rent. It's in one of my old neighborhoods, though, honestly, in 33 years I lived in just about every part of town.  I was out walking the other day, and passed a house where my first husband and I lived for 5 years. Feeling nostalgic as I was gazing at it, my phone rang. It was my daughter, telling me they were on their way to the hospital to get checked out. Her water may have broken.

After running tests and hooking her up to monitors, they said she could go home.  False alarm.

So today we had our nails done after going to breakfast.  We'll find things to do, play with her son, rest and wait out this torrential rain we are having, and soon, she and her husband will bring their daughter into this crazy world.

Steve and I went to one of my old favorite cafes today,  in the Seabright neighborhood. We ate last night at another favorite joint just up the street.  Tomorrow we have out of towners coming in, and we're taking the kids to dinner at another old favorite that we frequented for special occasions (graduations, weddings, birthdays). I wonder how many pounds I'll gain on this trip!

So, while we continue to watch this joke of a President fuck up daily, (that  press conference yesterday was a doozy, wasn't it?) we are also on vacation trying to leave the everyday behind. And we are focused on this lil baby.  The good stuff. The really really good stuff.

Have a lovely weekend, friends.

Monday, February 6, 2017

Monday Musings

I don't usually watch professional football. I do, however, often watch the Super Bowl every year. It's a spectacle, for sure. Yesterday's game was a real nail biter, and I love them that way. Edge of your seat action for 4 hours! The half time show with Lady Gaga was an over-the-top extravaganca, just the way they are supposed to be. No wardrobe malfunctions, and she had several wardrobe changes. I love that she opened with America the Beautiful and Woody Guthrie's This Land is Your Land. She also included her transgender anthem, "Born this Way." It's a great dance number, and I doubt most non-Gaga fans didn't even knew what she was on about. But it was glorious.

Comedy this past week has been glorious as well. Saturday Night Live had several skits that are noteworthy, most especially Melissa McCarthy as Press Secretary Sean Spicer. If you missed it, you may find it on YouTube. One of my favorite comedians, because he is fabulously gay and sings broadway musicals, is Randy Rainbow. Here is his latest:
Humor is a great weapon against oppressors. First of all, the dudes in charge positively hate to be ridiculed.   Secondly, humor provides a much needed relief valve for those of us who are drowning in the daily horror that is the new administration.

Humor comes in all forms, and these times are providing bigly fodder for comedians.  And cartoonists.  And musicians.

If you need to find a foothold in all of this swirling muck, ground yourself with some comedy.  Start taping Saturday Night Live, for they are on a roll.  Some of their best comedy in a long time.  Sign up to receive videos from Randy Rainbow.  Laugh until tears leak from the corners of your eyes.  We need to comic relief in order to RESIST over the long haul.

Lastly, here's a tweet I hope to see Drumpf send out sooner rather than later, because it sounds just like him: FOUR LEGS GOOD. TWO LEGS BAD. (George Orwell's Animal Farm). Now, wouldn't that be hilarious?

Here's hoping you have a great week!

Friday, February 3, 2017


Oh, Friends, let me tell you:  I took just a few days off from Face book and what a joy and relief it was.  I made a decision to get my news from the NYT, WaPo, The Guardian and BBC News, and leave the endless echo chamber of social media.  I understand the impulse to post the latest outrage (I did it, frequently) and share your outage with like-minded friends, but it was driving me nuts.  It began to eclipse my day.  First thing in the morning, coffee in hand, hunched over the keyboard, getting fired UP.  Frequent check-ins over the course of the day.  More intense emotion.

That is no way to be.  It is not sustainable, for me anyway.  But gosh, even when I go to the gym, there's the big screen t.v.s with CNN talking heads.  Luckily, no sound, but closed caption.  So I bring my ear buds and crank up the music on my iPhone.

It's great that we are engaged.  This administration demands it.  But I am finding more and more people are discovering they must balance it with healthy self-care.  I did ask a friend what she was doing to take care of herself, and she replied, "nothing."  But I know she does: she walks, she takes photographs, she shares laughter with her beloved.  All good stuff.  We must cultivate the good stuff.

For us, the good stuff includes movies on Amazon or Netflix.  We just watched Mr. Church, with Eddie Murphy of all people in the lead.  It's a serious role, and his portrayal is spot on.  A very lovely film.  And for pure entertainment,  I've recently completed the series Z: The Beginning of Everything.  The story of Zelda and Scott Fitzgerald.

 Have a great weekend, my friends!  Do something GOOD for yourself!

You Can Go Home Again

 I took a vacation in the first week of May.  I went back to my high school and college stomping grounds, still populated by many friends of...