Today is my Dad's birthday. He would have been ninety years old. Both he and my mom had a dream visit with me last night, and it was nice and normal. My sisters and I were getting their old San Diego home ready for the move up north. At some point, I said to my sisters, "They don't know they're dead." No, they didn't. They were just sitting around the living room taking it easy. All seemed well. It left me feeling peaceful.
There is one thing I'm doing now that brings me joy. It's the first time I've felt excited in a long while. I have an old friend I used to play music with, and his partner and he are touring the midwest this summer and fall. I know they also do house concerts, so I invited them to do a house concert in my condo's clubhouse and they said, "yes!" It will be the first time in over a decade I've seen him, and I'll get to meet her as well. I have no doubt I can fill the clubhouse with music lovers, between my neighbors and my church friends group. I've been feeling so lackluster, so down in the dumps. but when I started the conversation with them, I got so excited. Oh my, this is how I remember it. It's such a terrific feeling to have, excitement. I can actually take action and do something that will make people happy. We absolutely need 'happy' right now. Yes, please.
We're under another winter warning beginning tomorrow. Bring it on. We need the moisture. I read recently that California is experiencing its worst drought in 1,200 years. Here in Colorado we've been having a drought for at least a decade and there is no end in sight. Whatever is going to happen to my beloved California?
My credit card bill came through yesterday, and I've been ordering a lot more Doordash than I thought!! Ouch! I'm going to have to cut back on that. I just have not had the energy or desire to cook for myself. As a good friend said, "It's good self-care." That is true, but it's also damned expensive! I'm going to need to snap out of this rut sometime soon.
It can be such a relief when dreams of family members revert to them doing calm, mundane things. For a couple of years after my mother died I used to be awoken by her calling out for help, as she frequently did during the last year of her life when I looked after her. Now I'm pleased to say that doesn't happen any more.
ReplyDeleteIt's a pity that I live so far away; I could just do with an evening of live music right now!
The birthdays of our dearly loved ones when they are gone evoke such memories and sadness. I like how you are balancing these times with the pleasure of music. The concert sounds wonderful. I wish we lived closer. We'd definitely come by for that.
ReplyDeleteThe drought here scares me so much. Without rain the summer fire season awaits us with forests of kindling.
Happy Birthday to our dads! Our dads both died at age 89. My father had his 89th birthday on February 11, 2003. He died on the following St. Patrick's Day and would have been 108 years old this year.
ReplyDeleteThat was a sweet dream visit from your mom and dad.
Music is a joy! That's for sure. Enjoyed listening to Jaeger & Reid.
The photo on my blog was a sunrise (-:
What a lovely visit you had with your parents. They came to tell you they are well. And how exciting indeed that you're making a concert happen for your friends and neighbors! Life is pretty hum drum right now, what will covid hanging on, but you're finding ways to let in the light. Good on you.
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