Tuesday, July 8, 2014

When the Shit Hits the Fan

My love and I are are preparing to be married.  We are deliriously happy.  We just bought a house.  Looking forward - so much - to moving in next month.  The future looks so very bright.

Meantime...back in the other real world...
  • a friend's partner has attempted suicide and is on life support
  • another friend is transitioning out of this life with the help of his husband and hospice
  • girls are being held captive by maniacs across the sea
  • two friends have lost their canine companions
  • people live in the gravel next to the train tracks
  • others struggle quietly in their own pain and suffering
What I realized is that sometimes I put way too much emphasis on what is good with the world and what is bad.  With so much unpredictability of life and chaos at work these days in our uncertain world, what I have learned is that it really doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter if we label life as “good” or “bad.”  It just is. It is the way it’s supposed to be.

All the over analysis, over thinking, over planning, over labeling—all of it doesn’t accomplish anything. It doesn’t help me feel better putting a label on something!  In fact the opposite happens: You freeze and get stuck over thinking trying to compartmentalize everything. You get overwhelmed by the chaos of life.  So much of our stress and anxiety comes from our attempts at attaching a “good” or “bad” to the challenges we encounter in life. We believe things ought to be a certain way. We feel things in life should be generally “good.”  And when it isn’t we get really hurt. We get disappointed. We get burned. And we stop moving forward. We stop experiencing the full array of choices life has to offer during our journey.

Our reluctance to accept the fluid nature of life is at the center of so much of our paralysis.  I believe that in order to deal with uncertainty and the chaotic up and down nature of life, we have to accept that life just is and embrace the chaos that we inevitably encounter.

Life is just the way it is supposed to be: unpredictable, good, bad, ugly, and great all rolled up into one incredibly short experience.  Carpe Diem, babies.


  1. I believe we have to build our own energy strong as it helps so much that is going wrong other places. So hearing of one person's joy adds to my joy as much as hearing of another's sorrow adds to may sadness. But it all is part of the whole cycle of life. I think we need to feel the joy while it's here and not let another's sorrow block it because that joy is helping the world. I truly believe it is. I know it certainly makes me feel happy for you.

  2. Congrats to you both! I imagine this exciting news colors everything bright for you. I love what you've written here, too -- a wise reminder.

  3. Both of us wish much joy your way. We hope you two experience as much depth and bonding as have we over the past twenty years. Always good to start with being best friends. Cograts dear Tara!

  4. What Rain Trueax said. Your joy is helping the world. Yes.

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Short But Sweet

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