Monday, July 18, 2022

Survivor

I know blog posts are more compelling when photos are included, but I can seem to manage that right now.  I've been home from rehab for just over a week, and it is good to be home.  I had my physical therapy this morning -- a nice woman comes to the house.  Working on my ab muscles, which were cut into during my surgery.  Tiny little exercises that isolate the muscles and can be done on the bed.  Then a walk down the street before it got too hot.  I'm still in a state of amazement over all I have been through.  I am a survivor for sure! 

Last year at this time I was hospitalized for diabetic ketoacidosis.  A precarious and life-threatening condition.  Came out of that okay.  And the year before that, at the end of June I had a small stroke which landed me in the ICU.  Holy shitski, I think to myself.  Can I just get through next summer with no mishaps?  Please?  

If there's anything to learn from this, other than appreciate each day because it may be your last, I don't know what it is.  I feel like an old lady now that I'm 65 and have come out of this catastrophe.  Feeling a bit shaken (not stirred) and looking to find the way forward.  I've been watching the Netflix series "How to Change Your Mind," featuring Michael Pollan, on the clinical use of psychedelics to treat depression, anxiety, etc.  It's fascinating and I think I would benefit.  I did, in fact, take mushrooms, LSD and mescaline when I was a young adult.  Not as a drug to get wild with, or in any kind of a party situation.  Always as a spiritual practice.  With trusted friends.  It was quite beneficial to me and I'd like to try it again.  Perhaps a reset; a course correction for my senior years.

Meanwhile, as the new strains of Covid are on the rise, I watch as friends and family travel and recreate.  Enjoying their lives.  I'm keeping to myself, unwilling to take chances.  Sure, I'm jealous, but I cannot imagine what Covid might do to me.  Wrap me in bubble wrap!  I'm fragile like bone china!  Someday, the fates willing, I can move about freely again and not concern myself with the invisible enemy.  

For now, I watch nature programs on the telly, travel shows and movies.  I move about the house doing small bits of laundry, or the dishes, calling friends and loving on my dog.  I'm mostly eating frozen meals (the good ones) and ordering out.  I'm not up for cooking.  I'm going to be talking with a home chef about possibly doing meal prep for me in my own kitchen once a week.  I tell her (it's a her) what kinds of foods I'll eat, we come up with a menu, she does the shopping, prep and cooking for the week.  This sounds like heaven.  I can afford it, and it will keep me on the right track.  Stay tuned.

Have a good week, and stay safe!


10 comments:

  1. What a journey you've been on! I hopped over to you from Weaver's blog, since you mentioned you were in Colorado and I have a granddaughter there. Then I read back through your posts, and wow. I am glad to hear you are on the mend. Keep up the good work, and keep healing. It sounds like you have things you still need to do in this ol world.

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    1. Thank you so much, Granny Sue. Your encouraging words are a balm to me. - Tara

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  2. You have been through so much, Tara. You have such strength and ability to heal from all of this. I'm glad you are going to have someone prep good healthy meals for you, and I'm glad you're not going to put yourself at risk by possibly exposing yourself to covid. Stay healthy, keep on healing and getting well.

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  3. Good to hear you're doing those exercises in bed. I didn't do mine years ago, and now my tummy is huge. Too late probably. What a great idea to have a chef come up with menus and prep for you. I wish I could afford that. I do take out, and throw together salads, or heat something or another. My meals are pretty lame.

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    1. I've been doing take out and if this home chef thing doesn't work I will continue. I usually order something that can be eaten once, with some of the ingredients incorporated into additional meals (one meal is usually too much for me). Finding lots of innovative salads out there. I figure it's good to keep the restaurants going, and me going as well! Meals are simple, for sure, but delicious. - Tara

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  4. 37paddington:
    Yes it’s been an odyssey for you but now you’re home sweet home and putting good systems in place. All will be well. You’re a survivor, just as you said.

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  5. All you've been through brings to mind the diary of your pioneer ancestor and all the challenges in her life. You've experienced so much in the years you've been blogging. A full life. I think Granny Sue is right. You are still alive for a reason. Good to know you are on the mend, taking good care of yourself, grateful, making your own peace.

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    1. I'm glad you are reminded of my hearty ancestors, who certainly survived a lot themselves. Their memory gives me strength. I inherited many photographs of them when my parents died and I love to look at them and imagine their lives. A long line of very tough folks, my parents being the latest.

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  6. Please do keep in contact. I am 90 in October and sadly have forgotten how to put you on my side bar without wiping everyone off but I loved what you wrote so do keep in touch.

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    1. I hope you can read my reply -- please include your name and blog, as I would love to know who you are! Tara

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