Sunday, August 7, 2022

What Lies Beyond

"Grief Sucks.  Life moves on."  I recently read this.  And, yes, indeed, grief does suck, and life does move on.  Eventually, even those dear to you grow weary of hearing about your grief.

Certainly, I have experienced a lot of grief in the last few years.  As has my daughter, and friends; my sisters.  At some point, however, it's time to turn my attention to other things and to reengage life.  My recent experience with my own possible demise was a stark reminder of how quickly everything I take for granted can be taken away.  Either my health condition, a car accident, a random act of violence, or some other catastrophe (just ask them in California or Kentucky).

My doctor says it is likely that I won't feel quite myself again until November or December.  The body takes a long time to heal.  In the meantime, I try to keep up with the laundry, the house cleaning, the meal making.  I've scheduled a carpet replacement for my small living room.  I prefer hard flooring, so I've engaged a company who will rip up the wall to wall and lay down some vinyl.  I'll hire another group to move everything out of the living room and into the garage for a couple of days, then move it all back.  I won't lift a finger except to write the check.

A few days after that is complete, I am hosting two friends who will entertain us with their songs.  They are making their way across the western states performing house concerts.  Jaeger and Reid, they are, and if you're interested you can Google them.  I had set this up with them well before my stomach surgery.  I am somewhat tempted to cancel because of the perceived amount of work involved, but really, my part is small and doable (order cookies and drinks for intermission), and I would love to sit and listen to their music with my friends and neighbors.  It's something positive.  I want positive.

On the one side is a friend losing her brother, another friend needing to place a spouse into memory care, and another losing a home to a forest fire.  We need to survive.  We need to imagine our lives long after the tragedy has passed.  The alternative is to let the tragedy dominate our existence and to turn our world into a small, dark place.  I'm not down for that.  Don't misunderstand: it's important to honor whatever has happened and to take our time absorbing the magnitude.    When you are able, lift your eyes to what lies beyond.  Let it stir your imagination, and maybe your desire to step outside the dark circle.

What does life still have waiting for you?  What is the next adventure?



5 comments:

  1. It's all so hard and confusing, isn't it?

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  2. What a good way of dealing with the stressors that are all around us. I like it very much. I still wake up each day with hope. I am not ignoring the realities of our lives, nor am I addressing most of them head on...with lots of anger, believe me. But I am curiously examining the cracks that exist in supposedly solid walls of many aspects...except perhaps life and death.

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  3. Good questions. I'm curious, wondering what each day will bring. Just met a slightly younger person who had a positive outlook on life and appeared healthy to me and then found that he has serious chronic medical issues. I felt some grief, having just met him, thinking that his days might be numbered. Using your words, I'd say he was able to step outside the dark circle. I can do that, too.

    Many years ago when I was in my late thirties and mentioned in a small group of people that my calendar year was dotted with the dates of that people had died, an older woman who was the age I am now said gently, "Your calendar year doesn't have to be a graveyard." She had learned how to be fully alive, with both tears and laughter, and lived into her late 90s.

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  4. We have to keep on keeping on... one day at a time.

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  5. Grief never affected me at the times I expected it to. Rather it's always crept up on me from behind when I wasn't prepared. And I've usually dealt with it by making myself busy, which was easy when I was working, less so now I'm retired. I looked up your friends on YouTube - "What a trip, what a trip we're on" they sang which seemed appropriate.

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