Saturday, January 14, 2023

Not My Cup of Tea


I must be a crazy old lady to have signed up for an on-line dating site.  Two of them: Silver Singles and Zoosk.   It has been an enlightening experience, shall we say....

I don't know what got hold of my mind, as I've been quite content being single.  As I began to come out of the doldrums of the pandemic lockdowns and my own, unrelated, near death experience, I saw the world anew, full of possibility.  "Why not?" I asked.  So I did.

There are plenty of con men on-line, and both my sites have already notified  me that they pulled a member because of suspicious activity.  Yikes.  There are also warnings about not giving people money and/or bank account information.  Who would do that?!

I have a brunch date tomorrow with a man I've talked to on the phone multiple times.  We never run out of topics and we have many common interests.  However,  I am approaching this with extreme caution.  Neutral location, no last names, yada yada.  I'm also clear that whomever I meet I want to take it very slowly.  I'm looking for a friend who might end up being a partner.  I'm also clear I don't want to marry, and I really enjoy living alone, so they'd have to be okay with that.

Yesterday I canceled one of the sites because I just wasn't see any good candidates. I may do the same with the other.  What I did do was contact a match making service.   A friend of mine recently had very good luck with a service, and so I have taken the plunge.  The advantages are 1,) screening and background checks 2.) a deep dive into each person in order to find a good match 3.) no need to scroll through websites every few days on a search.

This whole process may lead me to understand that I am, indeed, happy to be on my own.  If that is the case, so be it.  I read an article in the NYT this week that said, statistically, people who have lots of friends, or a few really good friends, have fewer risks of stroke, heart attack and other maladies.  I've read similar studies before.  Even more than romantic attachment, friendships are the stuff of a good and happy life.  In that regard, I am wealthy beyond measure.


  1. I worry about dating websites, but I guess real people really do meet other real people that way. It is the modern world. I hope all goes well with your brunch date tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to an update. (I just remembered the first date Roger and I had, we both had decided to be our true real selves... it worked out very well.)

  2. I agree friendship is a prime source of life's joy, and even romantic relationships go the distance because there is loving friendship at the core. I hope you friend a friend in whose company you can bask happily.


Can You Go Home Again?

In 1977 and 1978, my first husband and I lived in a 560 square foot cottage in a picture perfect beach town in California.  It was a great l...