Greetings. I've been away from this space for a very long time. It was the pandemic and life was stagnant to say the least. A waiting game, a 'just get through itj" daily grind. I felt I had nothing of note to share, and I grew weary of reading all blogs.
I'm dipping my toe in to see if the water is pleasant and calls me back in. I don't know. I do know the blog world went along just fine without me. I never did have an audience that could equal that of other blogs I read. My guess is that my posts were just not that compelling or interesting to others. That was okay for many years, and then, for reasons still murky to me, I began to resent it. Then I decided to leave a platform that made me feel angry.
I do enjoy re-reading my old posts -- it's been such a great journal, or diary, for me. Such ups and downs. This is the way of life. If you strive for lasting equilibrium, you will be sorely disappointed. It's taken me decades to deeply understand this.
I am still ensconced in my sweet little condo in my 55+ neighborhood. Two years now. Close to a record for me. The ladies here form quite a close knit support network. During the lockdown, we would gather outside on someone's lawn, weather permitting, and check in with each other and share some good belly laughs. I love being around older single women who are very content with their live and their status. Lots of jokes about the joys of not having husbands! One of us, in addition to me, identify as queer, but we feel the same way and enjoy the freedom of being on our own. Since my last spouse was a man, that's what I stick with with this group. I may be short changing these people, but I know that Colorado is a lot more conservative than California, so I watch my step until I get to really know someone deeply.
I recently took up watercolor painting after a 40 year hiatus. Mostly to have a pleasant way to spend some hours. I went to the art supply store near my house and a knowledgable young woman, who paints watercolor herself, helped me pick out the basis supplies. She seemed genuinely delighted that I was going to start painting again. It bolstered my desire. And so, now I play some music, sometimes Reggae, sometimes Rock or piano solos and Bach, and sit down to paint. I forgot how much I enjoyed the process and the unfolding of a painting.
And so it goes, friends. Always unfolding.